Estate Planning Tips for the Sandwich Generation

If you’re raising kids and helping your parents at the same time, congratulations, you’ve reached the stage of life where your group chats are half carpool schedules and half prescription reminders. It’s a lot. And buried somewhere between soccer practice and your mom’s latest “funny Facebook video” is a question you probably don’t want to ask but absolutely should:

Do your parents have an estate plan?

This isn’t about being greedy or poking around in their finances. It’s about making sure your parents are taken care of, their wishes are clear, and you don’t get stuck navigating court forms, medical decisions, and family drama all at once.

The Conversation Everyone Avoids

Talking about money, health, and death is awkward. But you know what’s worse? Not talking about it, and then getting a phone call one day that forces you to play detective. “Where’s the will? Who’s her doctor? Did Dad really cancel the life insurance to buy that boat?”

You can skip that chaos entirely by having one honest conversation now. It doesn’t have to be formal. You don’t need wine or an intervention circle. Just start with, “Hey, have you guys ever done your estate planning stuff?” and see where it goes.

What You Actually Need to Cover

1. Who’s on their team.
Ask if they have an attorney, financial advisor, or anyone else they trust. You don’t need all the details, just make sure someone knows how to reach those people. If they don’t want to hand over names right now, fine. They can write it all down and tell you where to find it when the time comes.

2. The core paperwork.
If there’s no will or trust, that’s your sign to nudge them toward an estate planning attorney. If they do have one, find out when it was updated, who’s in charge, and where the original is. You don’t have to read it, but you should know where it lives.

3. Medical decisions.
Ask if they’ve set up a medical power of attorney or living will. Those documents make sure someone can make healthcare decisions if they can’t. Encourage them to talk to whoever they’ve named so there’s no confusion later.

4. Insurance.
Health, life, home, auto, long-term care…someone needs to know what exists and where to find it. Because there’s nothing more stressful than realizing coverage exists but no one can locate the paperwork.

5. Money stuff.
They should have a list of checking, savings, and retirement accounts, including where they’re held and who’s authorized to access them. A financial power of attorney lets a trusted person step in if they can’t manage things themselves. Some banks require their own forms, so better to get that sorted while everyone’s still on speaking terms.

Why It Matters

Skipping this conversation doesn’t make it less important. It just means that one day, someone (probably you) will be left piecing things together in a hospital hallway with zero guidance. Estate planning keeps that from happening. It protects your parents, reduces stress, and keeps the peace when emotions are high.

You can’t plan for everything, but you can make sure your family isn’t left scrambling when life throws the next curveball.

At AB Legal, we make these conversations easier, clearer, and, honestly, less weird. If your parents don’t have a plan, or you’re not sure what they have, we’ll help you get everyone on the same page.

That’s what we mean when we say love looks like paperwork.
It’s the signature on a will that protects your kids.
It’s the power of attorney that keeps your parents safe.
It’s the plan that lets your family focus on memories, not messes.

Because love isn’t just a feeling. It’s a plan. And if that sounds boring, you’ve clearly never seen what happens when someone skips it.

You’ll just have to trust me.

✌️ABL